Service

This entry is passionately riffed as the subject matter is near and dear to my heart. Please read and comment. Please allow yourself to feel my words. Thank you for reading.

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Inspired…

How many of you know someone who has served this country? I am sure you all do. These are the men and women, past and present, who have given up their freedoms to protect ours.

My gratitude for the military is beyond words to express. I really have a hard time verbalizing my gratitude, my respect, admiration and utter love for this population.

The ones that… during the draft of Vietnam, watched the old black and white TV in their parents living room sat scared shitless as their number was drawn. Could you imagine this feeling? I can’t. Or while the love of your life, your son, husband, boyfriend, nephews number was drawn. Imagine.

And to the women that nursed these men back to the best health they had the ability to. For the women that served this country on the sidelines, seeing the blood and guts while hearing the same things the men did in the trenches. The smell of gasoline, the feeling of blood and the loss of a friend.

Or the ones that came home ready for a ticker tape parade and instead being spit on. Pride in their hearts and pain in their soul.

Or the ones that received the word that their child, spouse or friend had given it all for the betterment of our lives at home. Imagine.

These are the 18 year old boys (not old enough to drink legally) that say, “Sign me up. I mean I don’t have a better option. My folks are poor, I wasn’t given the opportunity to go to college, I live in a small town and don’t wanna work at the gas station, so I think I will sign up for a job that feeds me three meals, gives me a bed and pays me less than minimum wage.”

Or the ones that decided, “After college, I will commit to continued excellence by now, giving at least four more years to the betterment of this country and the men and women in the military. I want to develop leaders by being a leader.”

Or the girl that thought, “I can do this. I will show them, I will prove to myself and to the world, that I am strong, that I matter, that I am enough to fight for this country.”

Or the ones that courageously said Post 9-11, “SIGN ME UP! I am proud and honored to protect this country from an attack of this impact.” Without looking at any details of the attack or the governments involvement, they said without a blink of an eye, “I will serve, I will commit my life, I will forge forward and I will make a difference.”

Or the woman that says, “Go, my love. I will support you. I will be here when you return with my arms wide open, ready for your return, no matter the impact it has on you, me, or our family. I will love you if you return without a limb, return with a tremendous amount of stress in your mind, and the inability to connect for…a while.”

Or the parent that accepts with pride as they watch their son or daughter get on that bus and drive away for bootcamp, knowing that there is the possibility that this little person they grew in their womb and in their homes would be able to hold a gun, fight for our country and lose their life.

(Alan Jackson’s Song, “Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)” just came on Pandora…Thank you for the confirmation of my inspiration this am)

Or the child that watches, possibly unaware, of why Mommy or Daddy is leaving again. Smiling, they hug them, giggling they squeeze their neck while the parent holds back the tears to be strong for their family. “See you soon, baby. Daddy will be back before you know it.”

I will forever and ever and ever, admire, respect and SUPPORT our military. Despite political opinions, sex, race, sexual preference, SES, education…THANK YOU!

How can we serve them? How can we give them back a teaspoon of what they give and gave us?

I am committing to serving them right now. I will volunteer my time and career to serving this population of people. Whether by listening to their stories, connecting them to services or holding their hands. Whether supporting the families at home while their loved ones are away, or contacting our government officials to discuss the benefits they deserve…I will serve them. Whether by researching and making forward progress into treatment modalities that will assist them in processing their experiences and leading successful post-war lives, I will serve them.

The ones that DESERVE TO BE SERVED…I AM COMMITTED TO YOUR SUCCESS.

Thank you Poppy for your service to this country. You are my hero.

 

 

 

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A-WAKE

Round here…

Things come and go. Items rust and mold. People love and despise. We are but a small molecular particle in a massive distribution of energy. So, if I am a molecular particle…how big am I? How much of an impact do I make? If I jump in to this pool, how much of a ripple can I create? How much of A-Wake can I leave behind?

When I first moved to San Diego I did an experiment. I went down to the boardwalk in Carlsbad. I hypothesized about the reaction i would receive if I merely…smiled. I am going to smile at every one I pass. I want to get a feel for this community and see if people react and genuinely smile back. I think we can sense or feel a genuine smile, yes? So…I smiled…at each person I passed. What is your guess? Do you think I had a positive, mirroring experience? Or a negative, “What the hell are you smiling at dumby?” experience? I was so happy to report to my parents that each and every individual I smiled at mirrored my smile. And it felt natural, not forced. The smile test was a little example of the wake-effect you can have…

So, how much of a wake can I leave behind? As much energy as I give to it. In the events of my life and especially pertaining to the past year, I have left an impact on those I shared my boat ride with..my wake effect. If you read “Inner Tubing” you understand that I felt a jet stream of energy trailing behind me at times in regards to my divorce. When I think of it today, I think of this jet stream more like a wake that a boat leaves behind: as the boat cruises forward, the wake is a beautiful aftermath. I guess a jet stream is similar except a jet stream is full of gas, chemicals and dissipates into nothingness. Whereas, a wake dissolves into the beauty of the water and recycles its way back to being one with the original source.

By definition according to that damn Webster gent:

“A wake is the region of recirculating flow immediately behind a moving or stationary solid body…”  

EXACTLY!!! Right on. That is what I am saying!

In this process of still playin’ with it, I sought out to discover who I was in the midst, leaving a ripple effect to all I made contact with along the way. I knew that I had a tremendous field to soil. Like Tinker Bell. I was flying around sprinkling my life experience dust on everyone I knew. Now, this fairy dust can come in the form of expressing and sharing my words with my audience. Or, it can formulate in a simple smile. Or can it be created in pain? Can the sprinkling of fairy dust in the midst of awkward, uncomfortable growing pains be just as powerful as when it is sprinkled on serendipitous, “holy shit can you believe that just happened to me?” moments? You decide. But I am sure, if you know me at all, you can venture a guess as to my answer.

I am not sharing this to praise my ego for the rawness of my journey, but to encourage and empower (Natgeo) all that I riff with and to. Empowerment bleeds power.

I have experienced the opportunity to walk away or stay. The moments to see it or flee it. The FREEDOM to be heard or be a turd. (not really but I couldn’t think of something that rhymed with heard) and be a turd sort of applies too.

What will your wake of existence be? Will you allow for a chemical filled jet stream to be your source of forward momentum? Or will you look behind your path, behind your life and see a wake of impact? A wake of ripples, whether large or small, that give people an opportunity to believe in the possibility of empowerment? That was my choice. That was my option. I chose to be a wake-effect, a small ripple in my sea of influence. My imprint.

HEAR THIS, if you hear nothing else today:

The wake of our existence lies in what we share, who we are at our molecular core and why we do what we do.

My experience of looking back: what a gorgeous boat ride it has been. A voyage into the present. Go ahead, jump on this wake and take a ride. It’s a fucking blast. And then, start your own wake and see what YOU CREATE!

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If you live in The Netherlands, thank you for reading. Even though I can’t foresee who you are and I have never known anyone living in The Netherlands, my utmost gratitude to you for reading Still Playin’ With It. If you live in Italy, I will see you again. If you are a reader in Australia: I will see you sooner than we all think. 

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Here you go Bruce…

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News. News. News. Why is The News called News? Because it is the same crap over and over and over again. It isn’t new. It is old. It is used. It should be called Monotony.

Monotony according to Sir Webster means: lack of variety and interest; tedious repetition and routine.                         Sounds like “News” to me.

Got some news in my life last night… My divorce is officially over. And listen to this, one year to the DAY. From the day I originally filed, to the day the judge or whomever the hell it is in this state that officially stamps that shit…1 year. Or… 365 days, 365  sunrises and sunsets, 365 perfectly webbed opportunities for me to keep playin’ with it.

The official notice that our divorce was accepted, if you will, was News. The Monotony came in to play when I looked back over the past year, year and a half of being separated, recognizing this energy that had been the source of my jet stream. It’s as if through all the amazing adventures, trips and learning experiences I have had in the last 12 months, there had been this crop dust of energy around me. It can be easy, or comfortable  to let the Monotony of the News remain. It literally was as if I needed to said out loud, “Rebecca it is done!” Because, readers, we all have patterns and experiences that we are used to, that we vibrate in, that we accept as truth and even hold on to white-knuckled…

White knuckled. Ha. That reminds me of a conversation my friend Matt and I were having the other night. We were reminiscing and chuckling about tubing behind a boat when we were in high school. The asshole driving, which was usually my dad, would circle until we were flailing our bodies sideways off the tube hoping to not be skimmed across the lake like a rock. Yet, in actuality we were being beaten, while skimming across the lake. Why didn’t we let go?! What the hell? And if you are in the boat watching all this…fucking hilarious. Hit the wake that was being created by the tornado like hole dad was using as a prop of abuse, and fly! We would catch so much air… then land, and be beaten. But don’t you dare let go you little pansy. Such wonderful entertainment and summertime memories.

Ok, back to the “white-knuckles” of our experiences…First, recognize. I recognized throughout this journey that there was this unseen, unspoken, transparent cloud that I was ready to be out of! And now, I recognize that it is done and I don’t want to or need to let the past fart vapors, (ha), catapult me any longer. Recognize. As if saying, Hmmmm, this energy I am feeling, this vibration I am experiencing ties into the old Monotony. And like I do with the News…turn the channel.  Check in with that vibration, that energy and let it go. Like when your ego and hands have finally said it is time to let go of this god-forsaken inner tube we are riding across the lake of life.

Now, go find your own personal inner tube and rock that shit!

Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to share in a little nugget of mine.

Zen Rapper

Good morning…Yes, I’m still playin’ with it…and what I am still playing with this am is this:

I have had this journal entry from my Europe trip floating around in my head the past day. I knew I was to share it with my readers. So here you go. Enjoy!

As I sat on a train from Munich to Prague…the following flowed from my soul…

Kind of like a Zen Rapper, a Rapper of Love, a yogic Rapper. Well, at least I would like to think so…

“Flow-from top to bottom. What is top? What is bottom? Where do I release? Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. My desire to control seems to overtake me- Fake me out. Break me down-not build me up. Not make me stronger-not make sense at all. Why is it addicting? Predictable-not practical. Delusional-not palatable. No thirst to quench because I am not thirsty. No hole to fill because I am complete. Meet me in the middle. Flow-yin and yang-yang and yin-Breathe in.” 

Om Namah Shivaya – I honor the divinity that resides within me. 

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Should I call Ryan Seacrest?

Have a beautiful weekend friends!

Buzzzzzzed!

No, not on wine. Soon enough. I am buzzed from writing. As I set up my blog yesterday, I felt this buzz inside of me that one gets when they are experiencing something exciting. Adrenaline maybe.  Like when you walk across the street towards the house of a guy you like and the closer you get, the more excited you get, and your heart starts thumpin a little faster, and your breath becomes a little heavier and your hands may even shake a little. Love that feeling! Right?!

Or… when you are at the top of the zip line about to explore the canopies of Costa Rica from 1000 feet up. All you have on is a camel-toe giving harness, a sexy helmet and a pulley. But for some freaking reason you can’t wait to shoot out over the jungle and feel that rush! (I attached a pics of me and my girlfriend from our Costa trip preparing to soar the skies over the jungle Superman style last March). That was my experience yesterday as I set this darn thing up and wrote my first blog entry. As well,  I was excited that I figured out how to get this thing going all on my own. I consider myself a teeny weeny bit slow (short bus status) when it comes to the web, computer, and social media stuff. So, this was a huge accomplishment!

I recently started following this guy names James Clear. Not like a stalker, but in his emails. My brother introduced me to him. He does wonderful work. Check him out, Jamesclear.com. Anyways, his article today was on writing: “Leadership at Scale (why I write)” is the title. So I read on. It felt like one of those days when I was sitting in church and I swore god herself (teehee, that’ll get some of ya) was speaking directly to me from the pulpit.

James wrote: 

“For over a year, I didn’t have the courage to share my work. I wrote in a private document. I played it safe and tried to shield my words from criticism and judgment. Eventually, I decided that it was more important to contribute something to the world than it was to protect myself from criticism. I started to see being a writer as a way of being a leader by taking a stand for the things I believed in, sharing my mission, and rallying the people who believed the same things I believed.

We all have words inside of us — words that could change the world, words that could entertain and delight, words that could teach and improve — but these words can only unleash their power when shared. That’s why I write every week and it’s why I believe that the world needs more people to find the courage to make their work public.

Share your work. Share your writing. Make it public. Find a way to lead at scale.”

Thank you James for reminding me how important it is to be vulnerable as a writer…that it takes courage to be a leader. Thank you for challenging me to be me.

Take home message today to my readers:

Vulnerability…real, raw, authentic vulnerability is what allows each of us to connect to one another.

Are you ready to connect? Therefore, are YOU ready to be vulnerable?

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Thank you for hearing me. Love to you all.

About Still Playin With It…

I am a strong, in-tune and connected woman with thoughts and experiences that I am open to sharing with my readers.

If you are ready to experience them…and actually tap into YOU, then keep reading.

Details: I have a Masters Degree in Psychology, Marriage and Family Therapy. I am a Pilates Instructor and Wellness Guide. I believe in holistic health and the integration of Mind, Body and Spirit. My undergrad is in Sociology. I love people. I have a black lab named Neo. I am an athlete: I hike, run, spin, box, lift weights, practice yoga, pilates, jump rope, do calisthenics and anything to learn about and love on my body. I love nature and being outside, that is why I love living in San Diego. I have an amazing family. Two super cool parents and a fun and inspirational brother. I think I may have the best friends in the entire universe. I am aware. 

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I was married for 7 years to a man whom I thought I was to be with…forever. No bad split or crazy events, just grew to be two completely different people on a different path. I have no ill will or hatred in my heart for him, only love. After our separation and divorce, I realized there was so much more to me that I didn’t know. So much about Rebecca that hadn’t been explored. I would say to myself often throughout this journey, “Here we go! Let’s do this!” And that is exactly what I did. 

That is where “Still Playin With It” was inspired. Simply by letting life unfold and flow as it is to…perfectly.

Don’t we all have situations, experiences, circumstances and life plans that we are still playin with? Or trying to figure out? I say: stop trying to figure it out…simply keep playin with it…until it resonates within you. Get out of your head and into your heart.

No, this isn’t “Eat, Pray, Love.” Yes, I have traveled parts of the world this year. Which I will share in some of my blogs.

No, this isn’t a poor, desperate blog from a bitter divorce’. These will be real, funny, insightful, and raw words percolating from my spirit. Just for fun. Right?

Please enjoy, feel, experience and love my blog. That is my hope.  Stay connected to self and trust the process.  Thanks for reading!

 

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