Round here…

Things come and go. Items rust and mold. People love and despise. We are but a small molecular particle in a massive distribution of energy. So, if I am a molecular particle…how big am I? How much of an impact do I make? If I jump in to this pool, how much of a ripple can I create? How much of A-Wake can I leave behind?

When I first moved to San Diego I did an experiment. I went down to the boardwalk in Carlsbad. I hypothesized about the reaction i would receive if I merely…smiled. I am going to smile at every one I pass. I want to get a feel for this community and see if people react and genuinely smile back. I think we can sense or feel a genuine smile, yes? So…I smiled…at each person I passed. What is your guess? Do you think I had a positive, mirroring experience? Or a negative, “What the hell are you smiling at dumby?” experience? I was so happy to report to my parents that each and every individual I smiled at mirrored my smile. And it felt natural, not forced. The smile test was a little example of the wake-effect you can have…

So, how much of a wake can I leave behind? As much energy as I give to it. In the events of my life and especially pertaining to the past year, I have left an impact on those I shared my boat ride with..my wake effect. If you read “Inner Tubing” you understand that I felt a jet stream of energy trailing behind me at times in regards to my divorce. When I think of it today, I think of this jet stream more like a wake that a boat leaves behind: as the boat cruises forward, the wake is a beautiful aftermath. I guess a jet stream is similar except a jet stream is full of gas, chemicals and dissipates into nothingness. Whereas, a wake dissolves into the beauty of the water and recycles its way back to being one with the original source.

By definition according to that damn Webster gent:

“A wake is the region of recirculating flow immediately behind a moving or stationary solid body…”  

EXACTLY!!! Right on. That is what I am saying!

In this process of still playin’ with it, I sought out to discover who I was in the midst, leaving a ripple effect to all I made contact with along the way. I knew that I had a tremendous field to soil. Like Tinker Bell. I was flying around sprinkling my life experience dust on everyone I knew. Now, this fairy dust can come in the form of expressing and sharing my words with my audience. Or, it can formulate in a simple smile. Or can it be created in pain? Can the sprinkling of fairy dust in the midst of awkward, uncomfortable growing pains be just as powerful as when it is sprinkled on serendipitous, “holy shit can you believe that just happened to me?” moments? You decide. But I am sure, if you know me at all, you can venture a guess as to my answer.

I am not sharing this to praise my ego for the rawness of my journey, but to encourage and empower (Natgeo) all that I riff with and to. Empowerment bleeds power.

I have experienced the opportunity to walk away or stay. The moments to see it or flee it. The FREEDOM to be heard or be a turd. (not really but I couldn’t think of something that rhymed with heard) and be a turd sort of applies too.

What will your wake of existence be? Will you allow for a chemical filled jet stream to be your source of forward momentum? Or will you look behind your path, behind your life and see a wake of impact? A wake of ripples, whether large or small, that give people an opportunity to believe in the possibility of empowerment? That was my choice. That was my option. I chose to be a wake-effect, a small ripple in my sea of influence. My imprint.

HEAR THIS, if you hear nothing else today:

The wake of our existence lies in what we share, who we are at our molecular core and why we do what we do.

My experience of looking back: what a gorgeous boat ride it has been. A voyage into the present. Go ahead, jump on this wake and take a ride. It’s a fucking blast. And then, start your own wake and see what YOU CREATE!


If you live in The Netherlands, thank you for reading. Even though I can’t foresee who you are and I have never known anyone living in The Netherlands, my utmost gratitude to you for reading Still Playin’ With It. If you live in Italy, I will see you again. If you are a reader in Australia: I will see you sooner than we all think. 

2 thoughts on “A-WAKE

  1. Keep it up girl, I am so lucky that I get to work with you and hear all your words of wisdom. Keep it going and Keep Neo coming.


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