HERO I Go!

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This week has brought some serious clarity into my sight. The message sometimes comes through the voice of a friend…a stranger at the gym…or a glance…or a calling. An experience, a view of the sunset…a totally destructive thought.

Well, people, if you want clarity in your life, you have got to open your awareness and clean your glasses in order to receive the call. These smudged up, dirty, foggy, steamy goggles are not conducive to clarity. Clarity isn’t necessarily 20/20 vision either. You can have great vision with no clarity. Let me explain…

Webster defines Clarity as : “Clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.”

Clarity includes vision with understanding.

Vision: “I can see that road block (or as you will discover below, “A Call to Adventure”) in the way of my path.”

Clarity: I can (still) see that my Call to Adventure is a gift used by god, by the universe,  or by nature, to assist us in receiving clarity and understanding of its purpose. I understand it.

So does clarity come with complete understanding? For example: While I was in the midst of my divorce, including separation confusion, awkward emotions, uncomfortable terrain of experiences, did I fully understand why I was feeling the way I was or why this was happening? Not often. Did I have clarity, though, that this was to happen and I was to move on to a new journey? Yes. Therefore, I had clarity without consistent understanding, but clarity, nonetheless.

I truly believe this clarity came through the acceptance of MY Call to Adventure as Joseph Campbell describes in his work: The Hero’s Journey. Do yourself a tremendous favor and watch it on DVD or familiarize yourself with the story. Here is a link to an easy understanding of The Hero’s Journey: LINK

Clarity may comes during or after the second stage of The Hero’s Journey: The Call to Adventure Stage. This stage follows The Ordinary World Stage (the complacent or mundaneness of your current situation). Now, The Call can and will come at any time you are open to it, despite the circumstance in your life. From this space of adventure: A new, or redefined YOU will emerge!

The Call to Adventure: The hero (you and I) begins in a humdrum situation of normalities of life from which some information is received (for me a divorce) that acts as a call to head off into the unknown!

“Uh, no thank you. The unknown? I am comfortable here.”

“But, my dear Rebecca, adventure awaits! If you accept this call, your journey WILL begin!”

Acceptance of your new voyage must be discovered through an event or even a hardship, dangerous experience, or a request. This experience, or Call to Adventure, critically plays a part in triggering a desire to press on into the unknown!  Your destiny will continue to unfold as you continue along. Again, if, and only if, YOU ACCEPT THE CALL.

Sometimes we slip upon our quest by accident. Campbell puts it like this, “A blunder—the merest chance—reveals an unsuspected world.” This new world can be much different than we anticipated, or could even imagine, but is exactly where you are to be in the midst of your Hero’s Journey. I promise. This is where the real lessons came for me…the real uncovering of the Golden Buddha that is inside us all.

Freedom from ambiguity, the second part of the definition of clarity, is like the Acceptance of the Call to Adventure. Accept the call to your Hero’s Journey and the ambiguity of your situation will become more clear, the lessons will unfold, your inner Hero will surface. And it will be just that: A manifestation of your soul’s purpose.

We all have the choice to make a decision that may be detrimental to our growth, yet provides momentary satisfaction. Or make a decision that provides painful growth and possible discomfort, yet is the ultimate reward. What will your decision be?

While I was meditating this week I got this mantra: “Not what is NEXT. But what is NOW.” Those are the clear messages received when one quiets their mind and allows your innermost HERO to speak.

I ask you: What is NOW for you? Is it YOUR Call to Adventure? Is it time? Is it YOUR TIME?

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“When you open your eyes you have sight. When you open your mind, heart and divine self to the infinite, you have clarity…AND ADVENTURE! Open up and accept the call.” -Rebecca on her Hero’s Journey.

 

 

 

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SERVICE (take two For Memorial Day)

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for our fallen heroes. I am re-blogging “SERVICE” in honor of all service members past, present and future. Proud doesn’t encapsulate the way I feel for our service members. Thank you for all you do to give us the freedoms we love and appreciate. Please take time to read “SERVICE” and to be grateful for our freedoms. I am grateful for all the men and women in my life who have given their lives in service to mine. Thank you Dad, Grandpa, Chris, Shelbey, LS, Kyle, Ron, Alistair, Jeremy, Marty, Ryan Brown, Mick, Jeff, Alex, Erik, Hannah, Nana…the list could go on. And for those military spouses who support and love, I respect and admire your courage. You are brave.

Love, Rebecca

This entry is passionately riffed as the subject matter is near and dear to my heart. Please read and comment. Please allow yourself to feel my words. Thank you for reading.

Inspired…

How many of you know someone who has served this country? I am sure you all do. These are the men and women, past and present, who have given up their freedoms to protect ours.

My gratitude for the military is beyond words to express. I really have a hard time verbalizing my gratitude, my respect, admiration and utter love for this population.

The ones that… during the draft of Vietnam, watched the old black and white TV in their parents living room sat scared shitless as their number was drawn. Could you imagine this feeling? I can’t. Or while the love of your life, your son, husband, boyfriend, nephews number was drawn. Imagine.

And to the women that nursed these men back to the best health they had the ability to. For the women that served this country on the sidelines, seeing the blood and guts while hearing the same things the men did in the trenches. The smell of gasoline, the feeling of blood and the loss of a friend.

Or the ones that came home ready for a ticker tape parade and instead being spit on. Pride in their hearts and pain in their soul.

Or the ones that received the word that their child, spouse or friend had given it all for the betterment of our lives at home. Imagine.

These are the 18 year old boys (not old enough to drink legally) that say, “Sign me up. I mean I don’t have a better option. My folks are poor, I wasn’t given the opportunity to go to college, I live in a small town and don’t wanna work at the gas station, so I think I will sign up for a job that feeds me three meals, gives me a bed and pays me less than minimum wage.”

Or the ones that decided, “After college, I will commit to continued excellence by now, giving at least four more years to the betterment of this country and the men and women in the military. I want to develop leaders by being a leader.”

Or the girl that thought, “I can do this. I will show them, I will prove to myself and to the world, that I am strong, that I matter, that I am enough to fight for this country.”

Or the ones that courageously said Post 9-11, “SIGN ME UP! I am proud and honored to protect this country from an attack of this impact.” Without looking at any details of the attack or the governments involvement, they said without a blink of an eye, “I will serve, I will commit my life, I will forge forward and I will make a difference.”

Or the woman that says, “Go, my love. I will support you. I will be here when you return with my arms wide open, ready for your return, no matter the impact it has on you, me, or our family. I will love you if you return without a limb, return with a tremendous amount of stress in your mind, and the inability to connect for…a while.”

Or the parent that accepts with pride as they watch their son or daughter get on that bus and drive away for bootcamp, knowing that there is the possibility that this little person they grew in their womb and in their homes would be able to hold a gun, fight for our country and lose their life.

(Alan Jackson’s Song, “Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)” just came on Pandora…Thank you for the confirmation of my inspiration this am)

Or the child that watches, possibly unaware, of why Mommy or Daddy is leaving again. Smiling, they hug them, giggling they squeeze their neck while the parent holds back the tears to be strong for their family. “See you soon, baby. Daddy will be back before you know it.”

I will forever and ever and ever, admire, respect and SUPPORT our military. Despite political opinions, sex, race, sexual preference, SES, education…THANK YOU!

How can we serve them? How can we give them back a teaspoon of what they give and gave us?

I am committing to serving them right now. I will volunteer my time and career to serving this population of people. Whether by listening to their stories, connecting them to services or holding their hands. Whether supporting the families at home while their loved ones are away, or contacting our government officials to discuss the benefits they deserve…I will serve them. Whether by researching and making forward progress into treatment modalities that will assist them in processing their experiences and leading successful post-war lives, I will serve them.

The ones that DESERVE TO BE SERVED…I AM COMMITTED TO YOUR SUCCESS.

Thank you Poppy for your service to this country. You are my hero.

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Effing Marshall

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First, I admit I didn’t make my goal last week of 1 blog per week. I passed my expiration date on Saturday. It was buzzing inside me since. Not an idea, that was not buzzing. Nor was inspiration. Nope. Just a buzz of anxiety as I crept past my deadline to write. What was that you said? Oh, yes, it is WordPress’ fault. They didn’t send me a reminder email this week.

Like last year when my DMV tags were 7 months late and expired because those assholes didn’t send me a reminder. (That sounded like my brother, Love you RC.)

THEIR FAULT! And YOU KNOW I told the cop that while I splashed him with my purdy smile…

“What?! (gasp) My tags are expired?! No way, officer. I didn’t receive a notice or anything…

Thank you so very much for letting me know…Oh yes, I will go tomorrow.

Thank you for protecting our city and keeping me safe, sir.”

(I am sure it was something about like that.)

It can be very uncomfortable to sit in that anxiety, or is it oddly comfortable? You know this. The road block shows up blinding us from our path. Oh, and now, I think I will blame that road block for messing up my agenda!

I went to Marshall’s today to purchase stuff for my office. I had an agenda. I was to buy 6 pictures and two pillows. And…a few journals, more pillows, table matts, running shorts…and a big box of dog poop bags. Really? Really. That freaking isle as you go down to the cashier. Seriously? I will take the essential oils that are next to the new headphones beside the hair gel. Oh, yummy! ORGANIC Kale! SCORE! “Excuse me sir, I can’t reach that coffee right there next to the socks. Wow! Straight from Costa Rica! Bet it is really fresh. Mind handing me a bag?”  I can buy anything on this one isle in Marshall’s!  But my agenda got all messed up by the road block of UNNECESSARY CRAP IN MY WAY!!!! Marshall’s FAULT! And who the hell is Marshall, anyways?!

I always LOVED the people in Grad school that would remind the teacher when something was due or when there was gonna be a test. Immediately following our professor explaining that we weren’t going to follow that agenda perfectly and we may not have covered all the course work….”Dr. Fick, it says on the syllabus that we are having a test next thursday? Is this true (because if you change something I may start twitching in my seat)?” While, I sit there with my head down thinking, “Dude, don’t remind him! Maybe he forgot!” Syllabi are a road map to your ultimate destination: finishing the semester. As much as marking off those assignments is invigorating, it is ok to tweak it a little and ultimately get the SAME RESULT!

Road maps are like hiking-trail guides. My dad has taken me on 9 hikes in the Grand Canyon. We have done an impressive amount of mileage in that baby. Thank you Poppy for being the best trail guide in my life. Hike Life! It’s our thing. I tag along. We get such a hoot now, which I used to describe as annoyance, when we see people hiking with jars of peanut butter, soda, and cans of tuna…jimmy rigged to their pots and pans dangling on the side. People, tuna comes in a pouch now. It’s awesome…and light.

Musts in the Grand Canyon:

1. Good Shoes…that you have worn in. “Is that person wearing Keds? You got it. That nasty toe nail blister is called Canyon Toe.”

2.  A trail guide. “Ummm, no Ma’am, the Colorado River is at the bottom.”

3. Food. “Enough for the ENTIRE time you are hiking, no more, no less and no cheese.”

4. Ear plugs. “Oh wait, thats if you are hiking with a roaring lion like my dad…and many other wonderful men I know.”

5. Deodorant. “Just because you are hiking in the Grand Canyon i.e. Nature…doesn’t mean you can smell like onions and pee.” 

6. A head lamp. “BUT IF YOU SHINE THAT THING IN MY FACE ONE MORE TIME, I WILL THROW MY CAN OF TUNA AT YOU!”

7. Funny-as-hell men that will make you laugh the entire time. “My favorite hike: My dad, and his 4 buddies. Hands down, the funniest, most entertaining and educational trip of my life.”

8. A visor. “Yes. Visors are cool in the GC. I promise.”

9. Dice: “Well, you may have a few hours to kill. Why not do it in a “non-competitive” sport. Right Mom?”

10. Duct Tape. “Because Macgyver said so!”

11. AND NO DOOBIES!

Follow the guide. Follow the road map. Follow the steps, until a road block re-directs you to the next spot. And it WILL be beautiful, too.

I Just went to the bathroom at Whole foods. A little red headed, freckle-faced girl was waiting for someone. Mid-stream I heard, “Are you going #2?” Then from the other little girl in the stall, “Would you just leave me alone!” I came out and said to Little Red Head, in a silly voice, “Are you bugging her?” The voice behind the toilet wall: “It’s ok. She’s my sister.” I love the authenticity. A pure discussion of #1, or #2. That is what is important in their agenda…exactly what is happening in the moment. While I am going #1, I am thinking about everything from whats for dinner to who I forgot to call earlier in the day to the item I wanted to purchase later. I am gonna do that one day. While I sit comfortably next to a lovely lady…”Are you going #2 Ma’am? (pause) Ma’am?”

So, I KNOW I AM 3 days late on this and that you all were anxiously awaiting my newest muse. Thank you for your undying anticipation. I love you all. Hope this silly little flow was worth the wait.

Next week:

Genuine, real, honest conversation…what will it take for us to be real? Let’s discuss this next week! Yes? Send me your thoughts.

Or a tirade about Ross and TJ Maxx. Not sure yet.

 

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“I know this darn thing needs to move right now…to…make…way…for…me…to…get…where…I…am…supposed….to….be….”

Just keep moving.

STILL PLAYIN’ WITH IT

Aren’t we all…

 

Playin’ with my life. Playin to feel.

Playin’ with ideas still in this reel.

Playin’ to express. Playin’ to appeal.

Playin’ to create this dichotomous ideal.

Playin’ for love. Playin’ to heal.

Can’t believe this playin is so surreal.

Playin’ for “ME”. Playin for “YOU”.

Playin’ to “A-wake” that view.

Playin’ to “Serve”. Playin’ to skew.

Playin’ to help us “Reflect” our hue.

Playin’ to inspire. Playin’ for a few. 

Playin’ for that “Coalescence” you drew.

Playin’ to “Riff”. Playin’ to accrue. 

Playin’ to all the discoveries anew!

Playin’ to play. Playin’ to fight.

Playin’ to watch you increase the light.

Playin’ to WIN. Playin’ to right.

Playin’ to observe you re-unite!

Playin to “Breathe”. Playin to Bite.

Playin with the option of 20/20 site.

Playin’ for Love. Playin’ for peace.

Playin’ for all the power to release.

Playin’ for rhythm. Playin’ rhymes increase. 

Playin’ for an exceptional conversation piece.

Playin’ for the “Journey”. Playin’ for your grease.

Playin’ to be “MY-ME” we dare to be.    

For Now and for always…I will inspire. 

I will give you love, and a commitment of…

STILL PLAYIN WITH IT!

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What are you still playin with? What are you still playin’ for?

As you read, please know how grateful I am for each and every one of you, from the US to Australia, and every little town, country, and moment in between…I see you. 

Tootsie Rollin’

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This one was a challenge for me…expressing myself…like being on the top of a high dive, standing at the edge, with the audience watching, as I…DIVE IN!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Who is that?” or “Is that what I look like?” or “Is one eyebrow really higher than the other?” Self gazing, we could say. Most of us don’t take time to stop and really reflect on ourselves, especially while staring in the mirror. For one, you can’t see both eyes at the same time or your vision goes blurry. So you glance from eye to eye, trying to encompass the entire picture. Difficult to do.

As we learned in my past two blogs, “Imatard, Uatard, Avatard” and “For the Love of Legos”, I am a reflection of you, you are a reflection of me. I am part of you. You are part of me, we are we.

The work comes in for me when reflecting on MY part of the whole, MY inner being, MY Me…I am gonna say that again, “MY ME.” I think that is a sweet statement. My Me is an ever growing magic show. Ha. The performance of a lifetime. Journey into yourself. How do I experience me? As I face My inner most reflection…It is a voyage inward.

So, the challenge I have owned for myself is to see and experience my own reflection of Me, little ol’ RL. How do we identify who we are? By checking in with your reflection. Being present with yourself. Ask yourself questions. Be inquisitive. Be quiet. Be still. Observe yourself. Step outside of yourself while talking with a stranger. Be a witness to your life. Be your own audience. What impact am I making? What’s your WAKE leaving behind. (Check out “A-wake” from a few weeks back…) Write them down. Chat with your trusted, special mates about your stories.  Be ready to experience yourself. Be prepared to flow in whatever you hear. Like a spring, as it bubbles up, let it flow. You are exactly who you… are to be.

When working with my clients, one of the first tools I go to is an “I am…” journal. I have them write out ten “I am…” statements in a few different ways. Such as, descriptions of their outer identity. i.e. I am mother. I am student. I am brunette. I am 8 feet tall. The other list will have words that describe who they are internally, how they feel about themselves, their strengths. i.e. I am strong. I am powerful. I am loved. I am a fucking rockstar! 🙂 We will also do, whatever you/they are feeling today “I am…” lists. Sometimes, they really teach me, as a therapist and coach, where they are in their head and in their heart. “I am worthless. I am ugly.”  This shows me a great place to start working to empower them to be their beautiful selves.

Once I was able to identify Me, which is an ever evolving joy ride, I was able to see more clearly my role in the whole. I am able to unconditionally witness the other. I can see you; my friend, my partner, my colleague, my client, my barista, my fellow gym babe, my best friend, my teammate, my new connection, with such clarity. What a transcendent gift to give yourself, boundless in blessings.

I have a great idea! Why don’t ya’ all make an “I am…” list! Share with me what you come up with! I would LOVE that. It is a powerful experience and I would be honored to hear your descriptions of YOU.

I will show you an example below. Which, may I add, is what James Clear speaks about regarding “Leading at Scale.” (www.jamesclear.com) As a writer, expressing your internal self to the external world is scary and awkward. Thank you for allowing me to share who I am to each one of you, personally. I GOT THIS!

More than all the previous words, I want to share today what I desire to observe and experience in my own true reflection:

I desire…to…reflect love. I reflect beauty. I reflect awareness. I reflect authenticity. I reflect respect. I want to be a blessing to all I encounter with my genuine reflection. I reflect you.  I want to sprinkle my magical fairy-dust…better watch out. I’ll get ya!

And here is my “I am” list… 

I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an athlete. I am a writer. I am a therapist. I am a teammate. I am a coach. I am a wellness guide. I am a student of life. I am educated. I am a friend. I am a traveler.

I am passionate. I am loving. I am funny. I am strong. I am sexy. I am sweet. I am available. I am loyal. I am present. I am brilliant. I am vulnerable. I am rad. I am harmonious. 

I love to love. I love to connect. I love to riff. I love to dance. I love to laugh. I love to be still. I love to meditate. I love to empower. I love to rock it. I love to smile-smilings my favorite. 

I am me. 

Now look in the mirror. Look in a pond. Look in your hub cap. Who is that? ‘Lead at Scale’ and make your list.

One more time: this poem (again I wrote when I was 21) is as applicable today as it has been each moment in between…

“It is Me that you see. Nobody but Me. Who do I dare to be? Nobody but Me.”

I see ME. I see YOU

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Yep, that’s me…tootsie rollin’ in the whole.