How do you spell PHEW!?

PHEW! That’s how. 


IMG_7631You know the word you say when you almost got hit in the head with a softball at the game last night, but it grazed by the side of your beautiful head? Breezing through your golden locks. PHEW!

Or…the sound you make when you were just about to graze the side of that fence with your car and at the last mili-second, you stopped. And pondered: “What the heck told me to stop right then?!” PHEW!

Or…you slowed down on the freeway just in time to see a police officer. Or you decided NOT to fly through that yellow light as the car in front of you gets caught on camera. PHEW!

img_8873Or…when you make it to the top of that glorious hike. The view and the sweat are worth the steps and pain! PHEW! 

Or…(ok, one more) Or…the moment you pop the question to the love of your life and she says, “HELL YES!” PHEW!

What is your PHEW! moment?

Phew literally has a definition! I didn’t know.

Phew means: “to express a strong reaction or relief.


As you read in my last blog, It Truly IS,  I put my stud of a dog, NEO, down in April. It truly was the hardest time in my life to date. And writing this wonderful blog was the last thing I had the strength to do. I thank you, for those who recently started following me, for understanding, as a writer, or as a human, the need to take care of ones self and not force the flow.”

“You can’t force the flow. I want it to be my inner most creation built on the precipice of movement. Not crammed within the lines of expectations.” –Muthle Fiberths


IMG_6573I also want to share about the (excuse my language here) “Mind Fuck” grief is. I am a therapist, as most of you know. I have been trained in grief. I studied grief in grad school. I work with Marines, and military who have experienced grief more than the average person could understand. However, until you experience it for yourself, it is a crazy, hard, confusing experience. Have some grace on yourself if you are going through it now. And look for guidance as you let the process happen.

My PHEW!.. (insert here.) 🙂 PHEW! I made it to OCTOBER! I made it through this challenging year of loss and gain. The yin and yang, right?

Here is another PHEW! for me:  I landed my first teaching job! I am so excited to share with my Still Playin’ With It Tribe: I have been hired to teach Positive Psychology at a university! Aw, people! Just follow your dream. Wiggle your way in. Even if you don’t think you have what it takes or the experience, trust yourself. Be resourceful. Pray. Leap. WHATEVER it takes so you can have your, PHEW! I nailed it! moment! Because you deserve to live the life you want to create! (I share, too, as a root to the reason I may not write as often in the next few months as I flow into this new season…)

every-journey-starts-with-one-stepSssssshhh…Hear that? It’s the voice in YOUR soul. It’s gently whispering. Waiting for you to find the strength or courage to make a small step forward towards that dream of YOURS!

And, ONCE, you make that FIRST step…you can say:

“PHEW!!!! I DID IT!”

YOU did. No one else but YOU! Now! Go! Create that PHEW!



Imatard. Uatard. Avatard.

As promised…


I really love to blog. I have discovered a part of me that has been liberated. Thee artist unravelled. I love to write. I am ignited and inspired to riff and share my words with the world. The word “riff” comes from a man I met a few months ago that blew my mind with his “riffing” as he called it. He just let his words flow from his lips and meet his listeners right where they were. Thank you Chris T.

Writing, I have discovered, is a true honor, privilege and CHALLENGE that I do not take for granted. Probably one of the most challenging activities I have ever done…weekly. I have experienced a smidgen of what “writer’s block” must be like. Ryan-I admire and respect your work, your art, your craft more now than I EVER have been able to even remotely comprehend. I love you. I value you. You are my muse.

Authenticity, “leading at scale”( what I am bringing to you in Still Playin’ With ItLast week, I was not in a blogging space…so I shared with you all where I was, what my inspiration was and for a little telepathic help from my readers. I knew, I just knew, in my heart that when it was time I would riff. 

And here you go…

I was looking up reflections on-line to gather a little knowledge regarding images in our brains and how they are reflected back to us as objects or some type of matter. Our brains are wild! I won’t even go into the way our brains process information to see, or utilizes light and how the images reflect from the inside out. Mind blowing and powerful processes. Look it up, really. It is worthy knowledge to hold when you start tapping into what is actually happening in our bodies. Know yourself. As interesting as this is, today we will look at reflections from a more social aspect than a biologic aspect.

Reflection is a compound topic. One that I will break down into a few different blogs over the next few weeks.  For today, we will look at our reflection as a part of what we receive from others: I am a reflection of you. You are a reflection of me. We are a reflection of we.

Have you ever stared at someone intensely? Or “Gazing” as my mentor calls it. In couples therapy, this is a homework assignment we give to couples to allow them to connect. Eye to eye contact is one the thee greatest aspects of human connection and mammalian abilities. We can tap into the other immediately by “gazing” into their eyes. Eye contact is intense, hence the reason some people can’t look you in the eye. But, a powerful way to tap into others and into yourself. How comfortable are you when looking in someones eyes? Oh my…or when you are with someone you are seriously connected with and the eye contact itself puts you over the edge. It is like I tripped over a curb in my mind.

You want to connect more to others: make eye contact with them. Be present with them. I am not speaking of staring contests or crossed-eyed competitions here. Not that those aren’t ridiculously funny…Wanna see me cross eyed? It’s pretty funny…(Hey Chips?) I am speaking of tapping into the other by utilizing what you have: your eyes, your sight, your mirror.

Mirror neurons are a real thing in our brains. (Ok, a little biology) These little neurons fire when connecting with something in your sight…an object, a person, an experience, an accident. According to the American Psychology Association, Mirror Neurons are: “a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another. Thus, the neuron “mirrors” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting.”

These organic components of our species are available for your gazing pleasure. Increase your awareness of these little feelers that we are able to tap into, connect with and grow from. You are with a friend and they get tears in their eyes, and so do you. Aw, the ability to connect with another. Priceless.

Sociologically speaking: We are a reflection of the company we keep.  I learned early on from my parents that our reputation at times can be all we have. The tribe you surround yourself with is a reflection of YOU. Who do YOU want to be? Who do YOU want to represent? Who are YOU when YOU are with those people you hang with?

Marc Chernoff wrote in his blog “30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself:”

1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.” (Link to website)

What an amazing truth. One to stop and think about…

To the amazing souls who are my true reflection: I love you. I would attempt a list, but it would be ridiculous. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. My utmost gratitude for the reflection you have left in my soul.

“I see you.” Avatar hit it on the head with this aspect of the film. Reflections are an “I see you-I see me” experience. Could you imagine instead of saying, “Hello.” we say, “I see you-I see me.” Hard to imagine, but profound in the intention of the thought. Especially when capturing the art of gazing.

So…the poem I left in my last “quickie” blog, I wrote again below…and added to it to incorporate the reflections of today…

“It is me that you see. (I am a reflection of you.)

Nobody but me. (and you.)

Who do I dare to be? (I dare you to be you and I will be me and we can be we.)

Nobody but me.” (And YOU are YOU and I am I.) 

Prost to the true essence of reflection: To see and be seen.

Until then…I SEE YOU-I SEE ME.