The Dubyas

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor E. Frankl

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Happy 2016 Still Playin With It People! Stop the New Years Resolutions right now! Please! For the love of all that is good. Stop thee: “what will be in a few months” and think about what is NOW…In the space between. I wrote in Rock the Vote back in July of 2014 about this moment in time…the space between what will be and what was. This perfectly precise space to discover your self, your bliss, and your next courageous leap.

Your next ninja move is housed in this magical fortress: The Space Between.
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As I reflect back today, January 10, 2016, on Rock the Vote from July of 2014, I decided it is too perfect to not reiterate right NOW in this Still Playin With It moment of THEE Space Between. Please Enjoy!
ROCK THE VOTE- July 24, 2014…
You all know, if you read me diligently (and I thank you from my depths, if you do) that I love definitions of words. They carry strength.
Between by definition: “in the period separating (two points in time.) 
Two points in time…what is in between two points in time? NOW. This “Between” is my current residence. But, I am going to be the Mayor of this fucking town and call it: FOR-NOW. Who is ready to buy some land and plant some crops in FOR-NOW?  Prices are amazingly LOW because no one wants to live here…currently. So I will take a breath, look around and know that this space is exactly that: FOR-NOW. 
  IMG_3082The magical land of FOR-NOW, between where you were last and where you are going…can be scary, to say the least. It can hold an energy of confusion, and or fear. Those fearful moments don’t add to the amazing process we are experiencing in the Space Between. Your free floating thoughts may sound like this: “I’m lost!” Impossible! “I’m stuck!” Nope. “I’m stranded.” Never! “What do I do now?” Be Here. 
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My Space Between is filled with inquiries that I don’t have an answer…FOR-NOW. They are evolving. My current habitation is rich in development, so, I sit patiently. Well, most of the time. What will unfold? What and how will I move into this next chapter? Who will I meet that will have a specific purpose to teach me something radical? Or vice versa?
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 FOR-NOW is a space for letting go of control. Allow yourself to open your eyes and mind to all that is in this space. And then, settle in. Snuggle yourself into the depths of this cozy, warm, perfect place…a truly exciting place to see what is brought to you! Are you with me? Or are your insecurities and ego getting in the way of what is? Stop for a moment, right now and ask yourself that exact question. Allow the answer to come…
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A tool to use for this space: BREATH! I think of meditation within the context of this space. The space between in meditation or prayer is that “place” you go where there is no time. Where there is no space, people, things…just your breath…and YOU. Link to How To Kick Ass in One Easy Step, where I talk about this practice of…breathing.
IMG_0525 And of utmost importance, my FOR-NOW abode is not my FOR-EVER. Nor is yours. That is an important point to make very understandable and clear: FOR-NOW, does not mean FOR-EVER! Life is a becoming. Let your life become what it is to be through this space between.
IMG_7371As Mayor, President, CEO, and Soul-Proprietor of the beautiful city of FOR-NOW, I promise this to you, dear citizens: YOU can take complete solace that the unclear will become clear, the unknown WILL become known, and the fog will lift. Then and only then, will your investment multiply!
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Population: 1
Who is ready to admit where they are and invest in this ocean front property?
(END ROCK THE VOTE ENTRY)
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As you ponder what 2016 will bring, STOP and ask yourself instead about the 5 Dubyas
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Who will you Be?

Who will you free?

Who will you see?

Who are you to become?

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What will this day bring?

What will you feel?

What will you sing?

What will you heal?

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When will you KNOW?

When will you believe?

When will I let go?

When will I achieve?

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Where are you?

Where will you stand?

Where will you go?

Where will you land?

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Why will I go?

Why will I stay?

Why will I know?

Why will I pray?

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How? 

Aw, the Hows!! Those are my favorite…kind of like smiling! (Twaves) 😉

You will “HOW” by BEING HERE NOW! (I am a poet. And I know it!)

That is it. Presence. Awareness. Trust. Faith. And bringing the people in to your path that allow you to do just that. You all know who you are in my life and I am utterly grateful.

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“EITHER WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING OR DO SOMETHING WORTH WRITING.”-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

 

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Mewwwwwwy Christmas!

Merry Christmas Still Playin’ With It Posse! 

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My utmost gratitude to my Still Playin’ With It Family and Friends! Thank you for all your support and love along this amazing journey of mine in the world of BLOGGING! Dreams come true people. Period. Don’t ever forget that!

From: Your thoughts becoming things. To the power of your mind and heart to create your reality. And all that “WOO WOO” psycho babble I talk about ALL THE TIME…

Please don’t forget the most amazing part of this:

YOU ARE YOUR IT AND YOUR ALL! YOU ARE PERFECTLY YOU. RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING. BEING WITH THOSE YOU ARE WITH. WORKING WHERE YOU WORK. PLAYING WHERE YOU PLAY. LIVING WHERE YOU LIVE. LOVING WHO YOU LOVE. 

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I BELIEVE THAT 2016 IS GOING TO BE YOUR BEST YEAR YET. DO YOU?

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LOVE AND MEWWY CHRISTMAS,

REBECCA LASER: YOUR STILL PLAYIN’ WITH IT GURU

“EITHER WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING OR DO SOMETHING WORTH WRITING.”-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Metamorphic Creations   

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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…and so it flows…

I stepped on to the trail yesterday morning. I realized I haven’t trekked around a lot since my adventure of a lifetime in The Grand Canyon and Zion with my folks back in June. If you haven’t had the chance to read NAMASTE GRAND CANYON, please do. It is a story of my metamorphosis and the true understanding of this process. This recognition was the vital ingredient of things coming full circle in my life.

Circles can make us dizzy if we don’t focus on and ground ourself in to the actual experience of them. Let’s go…
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We, the “humans”, know of shedding of skin when we think of snakes, or the cycle of Ecdysis. Did you know that a snake about to shed is referred to as being “in the blue.”  (The metaphors of this. A writer’s muse.)

“Normal shedding is a necessary process for growth in snakes (and in humans) and is highly dependent on numerous factors with the most important being good nutrition and proper humidity.” (www.peteducation.com)

  • What are you feeding your body, spirit and mind?

snake_picture_113We even stop in bewilderment when we stumble across a snake’s skin that has shed. Sometimes, I admit for me, it is in an energy of jealousy. I want to be at the end of that “in the blue” phase; gorgeous, sexy and feeling good! Process done! No discomfort! We all know this is where the true growth comes. We grow the most from things that stretch us the most, right?

The good news is we do shed our skin…daily.

  • You have roughly 1.6 trillion skin cells. Of those billions of skin cells, between 30,000 and 40,000 of them fall off every hour. Over a 24-hour period, you lose almost a million skin cells. (How Stuff Works dot com.

“OUCH!” doesn’t even really align with the true experience does it? You don’t feel your skin naturally sloughing off. It is a natural part of our evolution. We don’t fight it. We don’t argue it. We simply let it be. Aw, you all know where I am going with this, huh?!

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Yep. Just as our physical bodies shed skin as a protective strategy and/or a way to make room for a new gorgeous layer, so does our spiritual and emotional bodies.

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Molting of our spiritual, emotional and experiential bodies can be uncomfortable. It is a process. It takes TIME. And the courage to NOT RESIST IT! Don’t let it scare you or keep you stuck. It is all a natural cycle of metamorphosis. Metamorphosis is only painful when we resist it. Is this even possible?

As you read and possibly feel inspired, I ask you this: What in your life is shifting, changing and preparing you for the shedding? Can you shift your perspective and understand it is a natural part of growth? Or do you want to stay in the victimhood of the growing pains? YOU HAVE A CHOICE! 

Life cycles. We ebb and flow in to a new existence. Sit in it. Don’t force the flow or resist the change. It will complete itself. It will create. You are the creation.

Taking full responsibility for your own well being…And in the spirit of change…

In great expectation,

Rebecca

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“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

 

MUTHLE FIBERTHS

“If YOU can dream it, YOU can do it!” -Walt

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Dedicated to Garry Alesio: one of my biggest fans. Thank you for your undying support of me following my bliss…I love you, G! Now it is YOUR turn!

A year ago this weekend I set out on an adventure of a lifetime that is STILL with me today: A SOLO trip to Bali, Indonesia.

When I told my wise friend “Natgeo” that a year ago this weekend I set out for Bali she said: “Reflection and Retrospect.”

So, I looked back at my blog from a year ago when I returned home from Indo. The last line of the post was:

“We grow the most from things that stretch us the most.” -Unknown

Geez. How congruent is that still for me today?! And for YOU?

It is wild and powerful how time soars by. In my reflection and retrospect this am I thought of a few things: IMG_8921

  1. Who? Who has touched my life along the way? And to whom have I had the honor to do the same?
  2. What? WHAT did I experience and push through? What pushed me? 
  3. Why? DON’T ASK!! 😉 Reflect and possibly ponder, but some things we may not understand…don’t force it, right?

It has been terribly uncomfortable for me to not write on a weekly basis on Still Playin’ With It. As those of you whom have stayed with me on this revolutionary journey of becoming a “writer” you all know that I was diligent and spot on with regards to my goal of writing one blog per week for a year. Well, I did it! And I am proud, yes! Since then, with life’s hiccups, new adventures, and new opportunities, I have chosen to not force the flow like I wrote last week in I believe IT is coming:

“As I have contemplated, searched for, and judged myself for not writing the past 6 weeks, today I remember why:

YOU CAN’T FORCE THE FLOW! 

I want it to be my inner most creation built on the precipice of movement. Not crammed within the lines of expectations.”

(As you can tell, it is REAL altercation in my homeostasis to not write weekly and sit in the presence of this choice WITHOUT judgement!) Good lord that was such a “therapist-y” thing to write! AND I LOVE IT PEOPLE!

As well, I think all these experiences and lessons I am learning are part of the perfection of Still Playin’ With IT! I mean the TITLE of my blog alone states the obvious! Aren’t We All still playin’ with something in our life trying to figure it out or attempt to stay the course?

I continue to believe with the utmost of certainty that WE are responsible for our own well being. I am living proof that if you set with intention, your goals, dreams and desires, THEY WILL COME TO BE.

This I challenge you TODAY…

WHAT WILL YOU CREATE THIS WEEK IN YOUR LIFE?

HOW WILL YOU CREATE THE SPACE TO DO SO?

WHAT MAY NEED TO BE ELIMINATED?

HOW WILL YOU CELEBRATE THE VICTORIES…EVEN THE SMALLEST OF ONES?

LASTLY, IF WE TRULY GROW THE MOST FROM THINGS THAT STRETCH US THE MOST…HOW WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IN THE MIDST?

In celebration of courage, strength and commitment to myself and to YOU, Please read the blog from Bali below or simply scroll down as I pasted it in.

And remember…YOU have it all within YOU!

Until the next flow sesh…

Terimah Kasih Friends!

Look What I Found!

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“EITHER WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING OR DO SOMETHING WORTH WRITING.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Canggu, Bali August, 2014

First and foremost terima kasih (Thank you) friends and followers for supporting this Bali adventure I just took. Thank you for asking me about my travels since I have been back in the states. Thank you for wanting to read, or hear what I learned and experienced. Thank you for connecting with me while I was gone. THANK YOU! You are the sweet soul of Still Playin With It.

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I don’t believe I would be a good writer if I weren’t honest, right? As I have said numerous times, “leading at scale” or allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your audience is where change happens to everyone involved. So, with that said, I look forward to sharing with you about Bali and the adventure it was!
IMG_8893I arrived in Canggu, Bali tired, jet-lagged and run down with a lovely cough that had been lingering for weeks. The last season of my life has been of racing from school to residency to licensure in the midst of a divorce. So once I arrived in Bali, I didn’t know what to do with myself. That amount of freedom when your body and mind aren’t used to it can feel simply nauseating. After acclimating and receiving the love and support of a few amazing Aussies, I was able to relax with open eyes. (Thank you RF and AR!)

Let’s call this the winter of my trip, or at least this had some signs of winter: tired, dark and impatient. One morning, in my dark room, I said to myself,
IMG_8746“Rebecca Laser, get up just before sunrise and go find Echo Beach!” I had rented a scooter the day before, so I had the means. I got up, quietly grabbed my stuff out of the room and set out to find this beach everyone was chatting about. I definitely took the LONG way to find it…seems to be a theme in my life. Literally I went probably 100 times farther than I needed to go, but I FOUND IT!
IMG_8773As I adventured out I stumbled across the Rice Paddy fields where the sun was rising immediately over them. I stopped my scooter while visually and emotionally embracing that moment. What a beautiful introduction to my “spring.” I discovered and created my new season, my self, and my moment of season shifting. Like the equinox we just experienced yesterday, September 22, 2014, my sun rose to the top of my hemisphere, bringing a change to my season. I think the best part of this story is that I CREATED this alteration. By utilizing my natural resources and listening to the “Braveheart” in my head, I allowed this turn to occur organically. That is Echo Beach below… IMG_8783

Like seasons past, so is the history of our pathway, our footprints, and our tracks. The past two years of my life have been one for the history books, my history book. This is my life and I am writing it. I reflect on the lessons that come from my history, my past, my textbook of life, and my personal bible. History, whether history of the nation we call “Home” or of another far off land, history includes brutality, peace, war, reuniting, being lost, gaining sight, destruction: self and natural, fear, bravery, pain, triumph, pleasure, growth, wages, power, debt, weddings, divorce, slaughter, birth, re-birth, murder, value, bartering, suicide, contemplation, harvesting, and FREEDOM!
IMG_8892When reflecting on your history and being the only TRUE scholar of your past, by definition, inquire and therefore gain knowledge through investigation. The memories, visions and interpretations of your history go through your brain like a train on tracks. Those dark winter months of your personal history drove you forward, naturally, to the next season. Being lost helps you gain sight. Courage intertwines with fear. Freedom stems from letting go of old shit. Your history, the good, the bad and the ugly are synchronizations of a perfect, absolutely perfect journey called YOUR LIFE.

The seasons result from the Earth’s axis of rotation being tilted with respect to its orbital plane. Imagine your life spinning on the axis of your history, ever rotating, moving through seasons. My world continues to spin on the axis of my history, with recognition of my present ever orbiting. I see my future as intertwined with my history making me stronger, better and more beautiful whether enjoying a sunset in Uluwatu or wrecking my scooter in Canggu.

IMG_0009Our muscles will grow more physically when we stretch them. Our relationships will strengthen when we stretch them through awareness, connection and vulnerability. Our minds will grow when we stretch it to encompass more knowledge, experience and put effort into learning. Our spirit lengthens when we devote our thought, prayers or meditation to our higher power, our god, and ourselves. Some of these stretches come through personal practice. Some come through the gentle guidance of a coach, trainer, mentor, friend, or partner.

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What is stretching you today? Allow this life experience to strengthen you while you GROW into your next season.

Buckle Up!

“I am seeking. I am striving. I am in it with all my heart.” -Vincent van Gogh

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I don’t think I truly understood the sheer amount of exhaustion my trip through the Grand Canyon had on me until the past week. Namaste Grand Canyon took me a couple weeks to write. And getting back to my dear readers and followers on Still Playin’ With It has taken even longer since that entry. As mentioned before, I promise to follow the lead of my heart when I write and not force it.

Like the gorgeous feminine side of us all: ART must flow and not be forced. Therefore, ever so sweetly I say to you today: Thank you for reading my words and trusting my process.

IMG_3246The “Metaphors of Zion” are continuing to build in my life. They transform like the striation of rock that built this magnificent place. These layers of my life are orange and red; vibrant and blending. Truly a scene from a creation no one, except “my-me” could imagine or build in their mind’s eye.

Many times when I set out to write I have an idea that has inspired me. A theme or a muse that gets my fingers riffing. I have mentioned in many blogs that, as a writer, I am constantly aware and seeking inspiration for you all to read. Today is different. I have many. I have a gazillion ideas floating and cruising the pathways of my heart and mind. They seemed to have landed on one space: THE HEART. My heart. Our hearts.

As a storyteller, words are my art. They come from my heart. (Poet and did know it!) This 18-inch voyage from our heads to our hearts can be the longest journey of this lifetime. I know it has been for me. IMG_3366

Despite the trenches I have laid in while healing my wounded heart, this descent has been where the healing has emerged. Similarly, while sitting in the vastness of growth, this 18-inch slope has held the space for joy-filled experiences. Even more comparatively, while my heart is filled with the ecstasy of loving the life I CREATED, this 18-inch joy ride is where my heart bursts with FEELING!

The 18-inches between the two has been where the growth, pain, resistance and struggles have lied. This pathway also holds power, glory, courage, resilience and healing. Such a beautifully orchestrated, and may I even suggest BALANCED, platform for F.G.O‘s! Right?!

Yes, we HEAR with our heart. We also SEE with our heart. We FEEL with our heart. We TOUCH with our heart. Additionally, research is showing, and I believe with all my HEART, that our consciousness resides predominantly in this beautiful mass in our chest. Where the East meets the West, hey? Such radical progress for humanity.

IMG_2103You hold the paint palette of your canvas. Create it from your heart. And like the trekking at Angel’s Landing in Zion, one step at a time, speak your heart’s truth to your mind. It will hear you. It will concur with your heart’s whisper. I promise.

When working with clients and speaking to friends, I many times say: “Get out of your head and into your body.” Get out of your head and into your heart. Take a direct detour south and listen. Listen to your inner guide. THEY always know the truth.

Start today by listening to the beat of your heart. Start right now. Take your left hand and place it on your heart. Take your right hand and place it on top of your left or on your stomach. Experience what you FEEL. Is the connection you are having with your self too intense to continue. Sit in it longer then. Allow the tale of your desire to bleed through. IMG_2849

Then write it down. Tell a friend. Start an art project. Play your instrument. Take a hike. Go for a run. Sit in stillness. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe! Get it out of the compartment in your mind that stole it from your heart and keep it flowing on your canvas.

Someone once told me that we SHARE what we most need to learn. Touche’ dear sage, Touche’! In the starting, continuing and writing of this blog, I am honored and grateful. I am grateful YOU take the time to read. I am proud of myself for putting it out there. And delighted that I have listened to the brilliance of my heart’s guidance.

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Like rappelling down the rocks at Zion: TAKE A JOURNEY FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR HEART! It will be worth it. BUCKLE UP and trust. And then…MAKE YOUR MOVE! 

In Love and Courage,

Rebecca 

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

 

NAMASTE GRAND CANYON

 

…”An adventure holds many components. The end result sometimes may be pure resilience. I will tell the tale this weekend…”IMG_3435

Hello! Oh the freakin’ anticipation, right? Terimah Kasih to all the inquiries into when this would be coming off the press! And here it is…

Today, I am going to tell the tale of our descend…next week I will add in the metaphors of the voyage. Grab a tea, a coffee, some popcorn, Gluten free shit, or a handful of caramels, and enjoy!

This is how it went…IMG_3966

Mom, Dad and I took off around 6 am for our 5 and ¾ mile hike down the Grandview Trail. This trail is called “Aggressive” And that doesn’t even do it justice. I hiked this trail about 7 years ago. Geological evolution was in full effect and I was the hamster on this wheel.

IMG_3047Within the first 6 feet I mentioned to my folks how happy I was that I was doing this hike with just them. Me. Mom. Dad. No one else. Missed you Ry. Unfortunately, my brother has an injury he is healing and couldn’t make it with us. We chatted about the last time we hiked together and reminisced on the adventure we have had in this very canyon.

Let me take you back a few years. Two and a half years ago I stepped out of this canyon with my folks, called my husband and knew my marriage was ending. He moved out 7 days later. My metamorphosis started in the sludge of pain, sorrow and grief. Loss, it felt. Yes, loss of a 5 plus year relationship with another person, yet the rebirth of Rebecca. This part of my journey is the pivotal point of who I am today. To be back here at the place this amazing journey began felt so perfect.

And it was…some 1,000 plus days later…here I am again. Full circle, it felt. IMG_4030

Now on to the adventure…

About a mile and a half down I was thinking (no filter here) “Fuck, I can’t imagine hiking out on this trail in 5 days. My folks are champions, but this is wild.” The trail, as I mentioned above, had shifted. It felt steeper. It definitely was more defined by rocks, big rocks, and small, slippery gravel. The sheer exposure of the Grandview is intimidating. “Exposure” is steepness of the terrain and the potential consequences of a fall. It also references the “edge” or the side of the trail that is exposed to a drop. Imagine looking to your left and seeing a foot between you and the place the canyon drops off. This exposure consisted of sharp broken boulders and a significant plunge.

I continued on to about mile 2 and waited for my folks to catch up. They are studs. They take their time and maneuver with grace and a seamless stride. Their backs weighed about 40-50 pounds and they are smart trail babes. I tend to stick with them as close as possible, especially on terrain such as this.IMG_4025

As I sat with my pack propped up on a rock that I leaned against to take the weight off my back for a moment, I called their names. No response. After about 15 minutes I started to worry yet stayed calm and continued to call their names often. At about minute 20 they came around the bend. “Phew” I thought. There they are. Mom made it to me first. And dad was behind about 30 paces but not in sight due to the significance of the boulder between us. Then I heard it. A crash and a slide and a yell I will never forget.

“AH! Help me! My leg is broken! Help! Help ME!” I ran around mom to find dad on his back with his leg wedged between two boulders.

“I heard a snap. I think my leg is broken!” Dad said grasping for strength to get through the moment.

He was on his back sliding down the trail, with his foot caught and contorted at about a 90-degree angle. His arms were bleeding and his body stressed. I pried his foot and leg out of the boulders and placed his leg on the ground with his hips sitting between two other rocks that filled this trail. He was nauseous and we were all frightened.

IMG_3979About 75 seconds later around the corner comes Ben. What? A person?! And right now?! Crazy! Talk about serendipitous! Ben ended up being a Wilderness First Responder. Of course you are Ben! Andd an angel! Ben calmed us down and wrapped dad’s ankle. It appeared sprained and possibly broken. After Ben assured we were hydrated, prepared and cognizant of our upcoming decisions, he moved on with the two women he was touring.

Our options at that point: 1. Back up the two miles we had descended. (Not an option.) Or down 1 mile to a place we could at least be in a smidgen of shade and re-assess our next move. Horse Shoe Mesa here we come. I took a little of his weight and down we went. That was the longest mile of my life.

Watching my beast of a father walk on this treacherous trail with a pack and a possibly broken and sprained ankle was exhausting. It was hard enough for mom and I to stay focused on the trail with the elements and our loved one ahead of us watching his EVERY step. And you know, when the left foot is not working properly the right side takes over and over used in compensation. Talk about hyper-vigilance for mom and I.

Now all this is in the midst of our own thoughts. Such as, “What the fuck are we going to do?” And, “Wait a minute! This isn’t part of MY plan for the circular evolution of MY-ME!” And perhaps also: “How am I supposed to finish this journey if I don’t get all 5 days and all 20 some miles of reading “WILD” and journaling?!” Ummmm, I think I am writing my own “WILD” 😉IMG_3964

The last 200 yards before our destination I had my dads pack on my back and my pack on my front. It was slick as a snotty slip and slide. We were exhausted, thirsty, and as nervous as a “dog shitting peach seeds” as my dad likes to say. (Insert “DICKISM”)

We got my dad propped up under a little shade in the “Horse Shoe Mesa” area. At this point it was almost 11 and we were almost out of water. Due to the strenuous morning and the amount of time, our water had dwindled. Mom and I had about 8 ounces and my dad had about 20. This spot on the trail was dry, no water. I had to go get us water. The only source of water was another mile down to Page Spring. I had been there before and had no other option. We needed water while we rested, and water to cook and drink over the next night if we ended up staying. No water is NOT an option.

IMG_3974Mom didn’t want me to go alone. She was so tired. I could see her exhaustion and her love of her daughter battling. She didn’t want me to go alone. So we gave her an emergency packet and off we went. Well, until her hiking pole snapped in half about a quarter of the way down. That was a sign. I was really worrying about her because of the trail conditions and her exhaustion. It was almost noon and the temperature was about 90 at this point. I needed all the focus I could hold and having her behind me took away from the trail. Mom and I agreed it was a sign and she should wait there. We developed a “I am fine” yell that would reverberate up the canyon to let her know I was doing ok. “YEW!” I would yell and she would holler back. We did this back and forth the next hour as I maneuvered ever so carefully down the most difficult trail of my life.

This portion from Horse Shoe Mesa to Page Spring was immensely dangerous. The exposure was frightening. I was crawling over rocks and sliding down gravel. And at this point I had 16 EMPTY water bottles in my backpack. As I approached Page Spring, I vaguely remembered where I was. But I took a wrong turn and got a little frightened. Now, I had 6 ounces of water, a piece of gum and a protein bar. That was it. I felt I was going the wrong way. I prayed. Please show me where I am to go. And I found it. OF COURSE! “YEW!” I yelled!

The first thing for me to do was drink a little water. I had brought the water filter/pump and was ready to filter that shit and drink. I WAS DYING OF THIRST! Rule #2 in the Canyon: NEVER drink unfiltered or untreated water out of any water source in the canyon.

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I filled a bottle and attempted to filter it…but of course the pump wasn’t working. So, being the wise trekker I am I took a deep breath and scooped a small amount of water of the VERY top of the spring. And I drank enough to wet my whistle. Then I filled up 17 liters of water yelled, “YEW!” and off I went…on the climb of my life.

Coming down a trail with no weight is much different than coming up a trail with 17 liters of catawampus weight and unbalance. My mind was racing. “How much water do I need to save to get me out of here tomorrow if we are unable to continue so I can go for help?” How much water do we all need to use to limit the depletion of our hydration while allowing us to be sustained?” “How the fuck am I doing this right now?” How the hell am I able to climb this steep, slippery and hot trail while my father is hurt, my mom is exhausted and I am depleted?” (BECAUSE WE ARE FUCKING CHAMPIONS THAT IS WHY!) IMG_3963

Halfway up to my mom I plopped down to catch my breath. Popped my chewing gum in my mouth and off I went. Once I got to my mom the tears flowed. For about 30 seconds I Just sobbed it out. My mom stepped in. She had attained some energy from her rest and emergency drink. She got the filter to work, like the amazing mom she is, and gave me water. She listened to my fatigued cry, rubbed my back, prayed for us and quenched our thirst. What a team. And off we went back up to dad.

The next few hours consisted of us having a snack and deliberating every possible fucking scenario known to man…because my dad didn’t want to hit 911 on his Spot Check unless he felt certain. I totally understand! We also didn’t know if the Air Rescue would take just dad or all of us. So we assessed all the routes of exit that could happen. Would I have to sleep at the Mesa, where we had seen a total of 5 souls the entire day? Yep. But as dad said, “IF you can travel through Indonesia by yourself for 18 days you can stay one night on The Mesa!” Such truth! Thank you BALI! IMG_3954

With no human beings around and a very isolated tour route we grappled our plan. After about 2 hours of deliberation, while mom lay to rest a little on her Thermarest pad, while swatting the gnats away from her face she said, “Just do it already.” Dad and I chuckled and he did it. 9-1-1 was hit. Now we wait. I could feel Dad’s angst after he hit it. It took everything in his body to hit that button for help! Was his injury deserving of 9-1-1? Abso-fucking-lutely. Without a doubt. There wasn’t a possible way for the strongest man I know to walk out of this canyon, let alone 5 feet on one foot.

An hour passed with nothing. I was starting to get extremely anxious. Water? Time? Will they come? What will we do if not? Oh shit. I was pacing. My dad was stuck on the ground unable to really move much and my mom was doing her best to keep me calm. I paced. I swatted those fucking gnats. I sat. I stood. I sat. I stood. Like a good ol’ Grand Canyon Mass.

At about an hour and a half I had this thought: “If I take that god forsaken tent out of its piece of shit bag that is a pain in my butt to put back in they will come. Just watch.”

So, I pulled out the tent. I put one pole together…and guess what? Over the edge of the canyon I see the helicopter! We all see them coming and we all are happy. Mom and I wave our Thermarest pads in the air, just like in a movie when someone is trying to be rescued! “Do they see us?” we thought! They circled overhead a few times trying to find a spot to land. Again, like in a movie, they land, and squat and run toward us. Our HEROES!

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And out we went…they took dad and mom first and I stayed back with Earl to clean up camp. Then out I went. Well, we all agreed we had never seen the canyon from that view!

Dad ended up spending his 70th birthday, which was the following day, at the Flagstaff E.R. with a broken Fibula, severe sprain and torn ligaments. HAPPY BIRHTDAY DADDY!! Talk about HEROES! My parents are the biggest heroes in my life. Their strength, perseverance and attitude inspire me beyond words.

IMG_3087We enjoyed a gorgeous dinner at the El Tovar restaurant on the rim that evening. (Thank you Daisy.) Poor dad was adjusting to life on crutches and mom was adjusting to assisting her independent husband with his new found needs. Dad has hiked this canyon some 27 times and my mom has joined him on most of them. With all the steps he has taken on his numerous adventures, the odds were pretty good. He is and always will be a BAD ASS in my eyes! As well, my brave and steadfast mother is a true testament to HIKING LIFE AND KICKING ASS!

Thank you for teaching me to be brave and wise. Ever so aware! The next day they flew home to Oregon. I decided my journey had not stopped; it had just begun. Zion National Park here comes Rebecca Laser! Watch out! Chapter 1 of a new book…

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“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

Perfectly Rebecca

“Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts.” -Jim Morrison

IMG_0516In Honor of and dedicated to my father: Richard Ross Craig. (He is alive, don’t worry, and more of a stud today than ever before.)  

GOOD LORD! So as I am “Still Playin’ With It…” I noticed that a bunch of my pictures, almost all, areIMG_3521 missing from my previous posts. What the hell? GRRRRRR! Then I realized why after a little recon: I deleted pics I had used from my media folder on WordPress not knowing it would remove their links in my blogs! (Insert Aussie accent here…) “Good on ya, Rebecca Laser”  for trying to organize your life and thereby lose all previous files. So! There it is. It is. It is perfectly…Rebecca Laser. They may never come back and I will be okay with that…I think. 🙂

????????????????????????????????????????????????????Let it go…Can you? Is there something in your life that is holding you back because you can’t let it go? I utilize the image of holding reigns often with my clients. Take your hands right now and visualize holding reigns as tight as possible. Finger tips digging into your palms. Fists squeezing so tight nothing could penetrate the grip. Take a deep breath and release the grip…slowly…allow the light to enter and the control to release. Enjoy the ride.

I tell you…I sat at my spot, beer in hand, being spoiled by my friend and bartender. I thought: “This is gonna be a great night to write!” Then distraction set in as I ruminated on details of the day, or on what I wanted to come out onto the screen. Oh, and then I met Ryan, a fellow writer. And then my chicken was dry and the girl behind me was yelling in my ear. All distractions of life that love to wiggle their bloody paws into our moments. Frosted on top of the fact that my photos were buried in the WordPress cemetery. (Letting it go…)

IMG_6633AHHH! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PICTURES? (Well, trying…) This is an opportunity to practice what I preach. Deep Breath. Be here now. Enjoy the moment. Taste the hops. See the patrons. Here the tunes in my ear. Move right. Move to the right hemisphere of that gorgeous brain and feel the night. FEEL the words. Feel the presence of greatness surrounding you, readers. FEEL the elements surrounding you and FEEL yourself in the midst. There must be a gift wrapped in this shit. As I sit here I think: “What a perfect example of the title of my blog: Still Playin’ With IT!!! Again, I say: “Aren’t we all?!

I titled this “Perfectly Rebecca” because I was feeling frustrated and bummed about my blog IMG_0236mishap. Judging myself for making a mistake. Judging myself for not knowing the ins and outs of the blogging world. Frustrated at the amount of time it would take to fix it…blah blah blah. Then, I stopped and thought about a conversation I had with a wonderful girl I see in my private practice. We were discussing her frustrations at thoughts she has, or decisions she makes. She was wondering if they were “good or bad” in an attempt to clarify her feelings. Or possibly, in an attempt to identify the “whys”. Or a way to ultimately understand her true self. As I listened to this gorgeous soul discuss her pain and frustration at why things are the way they are, or why she feels the way she does, I looked at her and said, You are perfectly You! (inserted her name here.) You are perfectly and exactly where you are supposed to be. Thank you for the true inspiration you give me (MS).

And I say to YOU: wherever you are and whoever you are: YOU ARE PERFECTLY YOU. Period. Even in the midst of chaos and judgements towards yourself. Stop. Take a breath and accept this moment as ideal. Accept this space as RIGHT. Acknowledge this step as part of the amazing process we call life. And be fucking proud of yourself. You are HERE because of all the steps you took prior. Right? Repeat after me: I AM PERFECTLY (insert name here)!

IMG_7133You have a choice. You have a choice right now to be bitter and pissed, as I was for a moment. Or you can enjoy this moment as perfectly placed in your path for a purpose. Or just love yourself and your “mistakes.” The dictionary defines “mistake” as:

“an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.” 

Well then. I mean, without getting TOO DEEP…(HA! Yeah, right! I would never force ya’ all to DIG DEEP!) If you had poorly reasoned, carelessly decided, and/or insufficient knowledge, then how the hell wouldn’t you fuck it up? This statement infers there was a moment, a planck (the smallest measurement of time) where you were able to decide. To decide which way to go. And from this present awareness”mistakes” happen.

Mahatma Gandhi said: “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” download

Mistakes can be some of the biggest gifts in our lives. Aw, the red wedges of Bali! (Woohoo, AW!) These “mistakes”, or planck of time, or moments of reasoning… give us the bridge to the cave we fear to enter, yes? In this cave are the elements used for producing a perfect “YOU-MUFFIN”. Maybe made out of momentary icky ingredients. But, yummy nonetheless. 🙂 

NOW…Get out your air guitar and rock this planet being thee…

PERFECTLY ALIGNED INGREDIENT THAT YOU ARE!!! 

IMG_3977“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

Follow Me to the TOP!

Good Morning Still Playin’ With It PEEPS!

Aw the start to a new BIRTH year! My utmost love and gratitude for each of YOU. I believe it is going to be an ASS KICKING year!

Follow me to the top of your true potential. Your dreams, hopes and aspirations are just around the corner…even if the trail bends, the path is rocky or the road is slippery! Woohoo! Those make for perfect experiences! And a training which is ideal for who you are and where you are going! I promise.

Enjoy this raw video and know that I will be posting a blog this weekend with a rad “Playlist to my Life!”

Love and Ass Kickin’ Gratitude,

Rebecca

 

Links to mentioned past blogs:

Imatard, Uatard Avatard

For the Love of Legos

Tootsie Rollin’

“The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day your realized why.”
Mark Twain