How do you spell PHEW!?

PHEW! That’s how. 

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IMG_7631You know the word you say when you almost got hit in the head with a softball at the game last night, but it grazed by the side of your beautiful head? Breezing through your golden locks. PHEW!

Or…the sound you make when you were just about to graze the side of that fence with your car and at the last mili-second, you stopped. And pondered: “What the heck told me to stop right then?!” PHEW!

Or…you slowed down on the freeway just in time to see a police officer. Or you decided NOT to fly through that yellow light as the car in front of you gets caught on camera. PHEW!

img_8873Or…when you make it to the top of that glorious hike. The view and the sweat are worth the steps and pain! PHEW! 

Or…(ok, one more) Or…the moment you pop the question to the love of your life and she says, “HELL YES!” PHEW!

What is your PHEW! moment?

Phew literally has a definition! I didn’t know.

Phew means: “to express a strong reaction or relief.

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As you read in my last blog, It Truly IS,  I put my stud of a dog, NEO, down in April. It truly was the hardest time in my life to date. And writing this wonderful blog was the last thing I had the strength to do. I thank you, for those who recently started following me, for understanding, as a writer, or as a human, the need to take care of ones self and not force the flow.”

“You can’t force the flow. I want it to be my inner most creation built on the precipice of movement. Not crammed within the lines of expectations.” –Muthle Fiberths

 

IMG_6573I also want to share about the (excuse my language here) “Mind Fuck” grief is. I am a therapist, as most of you know. I have been trained in grief. I studied grief in grad school. I work with Marines, and military who have experienced grief more than the average person could understand. However, until you experience it for yourself, it is a crazy, hard, confusing experience. Have some grace on yourself if you are going through it now. And look for guidance as you let the process happen.

My PHEW!.. (insert here.) 🙂 PHEW! I made it to OCTOBER! I made it through this challenging year of loss and gain. The yin and yang, right?

Here is another PHEW! for me:  I landed my first teaching job! I am so excited to share with my Still Playin’ With It Tribe: I have been hired to teach Positive Psychology at a university! Aw, people! Just follow your dream. Wiggle your way in. Even if you don’t think you have what it takes or the experience, trust yourself. Be resourceful. Pray. Leap. WHATEVER it takes so you can have your, PHEW! I nailed it! moment! Because you deserve to live the life you want to create! (I share, too, as a root to the reason I may not write as often in the next few months as I flow into this new season…)

every-journey-starts-with-one-stepSssssshhh…Hear that? It’s the voice in YOUR soul. It’s gently whispering. Waiting for you to find the strength or courage to make a small step forward towards that dream of YOURS!

And, ONCE, you make that FIRST step…you can say:

“PHEW!!!! I DID IT!”

YOU did. No one else but YOU! Now! Go! Create that PHEW!

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“EITHER WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING OR DO SOMETHING WORTH WRITING.”-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

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MUTHLE FIBERTHS

“If YOU can dream it, YOU can do it!” -Walt

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Dedicated to Garry Alesio: one of my biggest fans. Thank you for your undying support of me following my bliss…I love you, G! Now it is YOUR turn!

A year ago this weekend I set out on an adventure of a lifetime that is STILL with me today: A SOLO trip to Bali, Indonesia.

When I told my wise friend “Natgeo” that a year ago this weekend I set out for Bali she said: “Reflection and Retrospect.”

So, I looked back at my blog from a year ago when I returned home from Indo. The last line of the post was:

“We grow the most from things that stretch us the most.” -Unknown

Geez. How congruent is that still for me today?! And for YOU?

It is wild and powerful how time soars by. In my reflection and retrospect this am I thought of a few things: IMG_8921

  1. Who? Who has touched my life along the way? And to whom have I had the honor to do the same?
  2. What? WHAT did I experience and push through? What pushed me? 
  3. Why? DON’T ASK!! 😉 Reflect and possibly ponder, but some things we may not understand…don’t force it, right?

It has been terribly uncomfortable for me to not write on a weekly basis on Still Playin’ With It. As those of you whom have stayed with me on this revolutionary journey of becoming a “writer” you all know that I was diligent and spot on with regards to my goal of writing one blog per week for a year. Well, I did it! And I am proud, yes! Since then, with life’s hiccups, new adventures, and new opportunities, I have chosen to not force the flow like I wrote last week in I believe IT is coming:

“As I have contemplated, searched for, and judged myself for not writing the past 6 weeks, today I remember why:

YOU CAN’T FORCE THE FLOW! 

I want it to be my inner most creation built on the precipice of movement. Not crammed within the lines of expectations.”

(As you can tell, it is REAL altercation in my homeostasis to not write weekly and sit in the presence of this choice WITHOUT judgement!) Good lord that was such a “therapist-y” thing to write! AND I LOVE IT PEOPLE!

As well, I think all these experiences and lessons I am learning are part of the perfection of Still Playin’ With IT! I mean the TITLE of my blog alone states the obvious! Aren’t We All still playin’ with something in our life trying to figure it out or attempt to stay the course?

I continue to believe with the utmost of certainty that WE are responsible for our own well being. I am living proof that if you set with intention, your goals, dreams and desires, THEY WILL COME TO BE.

This I challenge you TODAY…

WHAT WILL YOU CREATE THIS WEEK IN YOUR LIFE?

HOW WILL YOU CREATE THE SPACE TO DO SO?

WHAT MAY NEED TO BE ELIMINATED?

HOW WILL YOU CELEBRATE THE VICTORIES…EVEN THE SMALLEST OF ONES?

LASTLY, IF WE TRULY GROW THE MOST FROM THINGS THAT STRETCH US THE MOST…HOW WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IN THE MIDST?

In celebration of courage, strength and commitment to myself and to YOU, Please read the blog from Bali below or simply scroll down as I pasted it in.

And remember…YOU have it all within YOU!

Until the next flow sesh…

Terimah Kasih Friends!

Look What I Found!

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“EITHER WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING OR DO SOMETHING WORTH WRITING.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Canggu, Bali August, 2014

First and foremost terima kasih (Thank you) friends and followers for supporting this Bali adventure I just took. Thank you for asking me about my travels since I have been back in the states. Thank you for wanting to read, or hear what I learned and experienced. Thank you for connecting with me while I was gone. THANK YOU! You are the sweet soul of Still Playin With It.

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I don’t believe I would be a good writer if I weren’t honest, right? As I have said numerous times, “leading at scale” or allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your audience is where change happens to everyone involved. So, with that said, I look forward to sharing with you about Bali and the adventure it was!
IMG_8893I arrived in Canggu, Bali tired, jet-lagged and run down with a lovely cough that had been lingering for weeks. The last season of my life has been of racing from school to residency to licensure in the midst of a divorce. So once I arrived in Bali, I didn’t know what to do with myself. That amount of freedom when your body and mind aren’t used to it can feel simply nauseating. After acclimating and receiving the love and support of a few amazing Aussies, I was able to relax with open eyes. (Thank you RF and AR!)

Let’s call this the winter of my trip, or at least this had some signs of winter: tired, dark and impatient. One morning, in my dark room, I said to myself,
IMG_8746“Rebecca Laser, get up just before sunrise and go find Echo Beach!” I had rented a scooter the day before, so I had the means. I got up, quietly grabbed my stuff out of the room and set out to find this beach everyone was chatting about. I definitely took the LONG way to find it…seems to be a theme in my life. Literally I went probably 100 times farther than I needed to go, but I FOUND IT!
IMG_8773As I adventured out I stumbled across the Rice Paddy fields where the sun was rising immediately over them. I stopped my scooter while visually and emotionally embracing that moment. What a beautiful introduction to my “spring.” I discovered and created my new season, my self, and my moment of season shifting. Like the equinox we just experienced yesterday, September 22, 2014, my sun rose to the top of my hemisphere, bringing a change to my season. I think the best part of this story is that I CREATED this alteration. By utilizing my natural resources and listening to the “Braveheart” in my head, I allowed this turn to occur organically. That is Echo Beach below… IMG_8783

Like seasons past, so is the history of our pathway, our footprints, and our tracks. The past two years of my life have been one for the history books, my history book. This is my life and I am writing it. I reflect on the lessons that come from my history, my past, my textbook of life, and my personal bible. History, whether history of the nation we call “Home” or of another far off land, history includes brutality, peace, war, reuniting, being lost, gaining sight, destruction: self and natural, fear, bravery, pain, triumph, pleasure, growth, wages, power, debt, weddings, divorce, slaughter, birth, re-birth, murder, value, bartering, suicide, contemplation, harvesting, and FREEDOM!
IMG_8892When reflecting on your history and being the only TRUE scholar of your past, by definition, inquire and therefore gain knowledge through investigation. The memories, visions and interpretations of your history go through your brain like a train on tracks. Those dark winter months of your personal history drove you forward, naturally, to the next season. Being lost helps you gain sight. Courage intertwines with fear. Freedom stems from letting go of old shit. Your history, the good, the bad and the ugly are synchronizations of a perfect, absolutely perfect journey called YOUR LIFE.

The seasons result from the Earth’s axis of rotation being tilted with respect to its orbital plane. Imagine your life spinning on the axis of your history, ever rotating, moving through seasons. My world continues to spin on the axis of my history, with recognition of my present ever orbiting. I see my future as intertwined with my history making me stronger, better and more beautiful whether enjoying a sunset in Uluwatu or wrecking my scooter in Canggu.

IMG_0009Our muscles will grow more physically when we stretch them. Our relationships will strengthen when we stretch them through awareness, connection and vulnerability. Our minds will grow when we stretch it to encompass more knowledge, experience and put effort into learning. Our spirit lengthens when we devote our thought, prayers or meditation to our higher power, our god, and ourselves. Some of these stretches come through personal practice. Some come through the gentle guidance of a coach, trainer, mentor, friend, or partner.

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What is stretching you today? Allow this life experience to strengthen you while you GROW into your next season.

Mosaic

“Life is like riding a bicycle.

To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

Albert Einstein

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It has been two weeks since I have written. This is the longest stretch I have had since starting Still Playin’ With It almost a year ago. The past month has brought a tremendous amount of change to my life. As you have all read, and experience with me, I have ventured through Licensure for Marriage and Family Therapy (LMFT). I started my private practice, which is an amazing tale of courage (link to Perfectly Rebecca). As well, I took a solo trip to Bali for 18 days. (Link to Bali Dreams and Look What I Found: stories of Bali.) I have also been to Oregon and Austin since December. So, this Rebecca has been busy, to say the least.

From licensure, to Bali, and every state of the U.S. and of my mind, I have grappled with what is. Whenimages (1) writing, we have a tendency to discover answers that otherwise may be lost in the soup of our meshed neural pathways in our skull. Trying to make sense of an experience or feeling, our brains tell us reasons why we feel the way we do.

For example: You feel anxious. Your brain says: “There has GOT to be a reason for this and I am going to tell you why.” Then it berates you with multiple reasons why, (these things that you really weren’t thinking of in the first place) are now firing through your mind increasing your anxiety. From your laundry list to your bullying experience as a child, they all may rise in the midst of this feeling. Maybe your parents are getting older or you didn’t say the “right” thing the night before to your partner. It literally will fire all of this at you at once till you grab on to what it MUST be. Then you deal with it while creating more negative energy around this anxious feeling.homeresonance375

Lovely, Rebecca. What the hell do I do with this then? I tell you Still Playin’ With It PEOPLE! I tell you NOW! You stop. You look on the feeling with curiosity and allow yourself to be present in the feeling while it passes, because it will. Then you call your parents, hug your spouse and go for a run. I know it sounds simple, but guess what? It really can be that simple.

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In Winner Winner Chicken Dinner I talked about Newton and the Law of Motion. Like the quote above from Einstein, we must keep moving forward! Not only to stay in motion, but also to KEEP OUR BALANCE! How many times do we talk about balance in our lives? Balancing career and family. Balancing all the different aspects of our selves. I speak a lot to my clients on the integration of our “selves” in therapy. We are fragmented souls. Fragmented in a way that suggests that there is a balance of our pieces. Not fragmented as in BROKEN. Got that?

Your fragments could be from different eras in your life, relationships, experiences, and upbringing.0-PRwyuP2F-mosaic-20course-s- Regardless of your belief in the above theory on fragmentation, our lives can be felt as more balanced when we step into the reintegration of these parts. Take a moment right now. Close your eyes. Imagine, like a beautiful mosaic, your parts coming together to form a tight, gorgeous, perfectly connected masterpiece. That is you: a timeless piece of art. Thank you to those that have trusted me in this process of reintegration in my practice. It has been amazing and a true honor. You know who you are. I love you all.

Today, I will leave you all with this. Recently I took a job as an MFLC: Military Family Life Counselor at Camp Pendleton. I am “embedded” in a battalion. I serve as a therapist and additional support to the marines and sailors of this unit.  As you know from reading me, I am a proud supporter of the military. If you haven’t, PLEASE read “Service”!  This blog is a true reflection of my thoughts with the dedication of our service members. IMG_0792

I committed in the writing of Service, and to my father, that I would serve back in my career for at least a year. Well, guess what? I am doing it! This is my platform to give back to the thousands of men and women, past and present, that have sacrificed and given their all. Last week I was honored with the opportunity to go on the battalion hump. A measly four mile hike through the green hills of Camp Pendleton.

The CULMINATION of the past 5 years of my life, experiencing what I created. I CREATED by a dream: a.k.a FOLLOWING MY BLISS!IMG_7304

p.s. My heart also BELONGS TO MOMMY! I love you mom. Thank you for your undying support and loving me through this amazing process of reintegration and the discovery of my true self! I wouldn’t be who, or where I am today with out you. I love you, Mom.

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“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin