“Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
It has been two weeks since I have written. This is the longest stretch I have had since starting Still Playin’ With It almost a year ago. The past month has brought a tremendous amount of change to my life. As you have all read, and experience with me, I have ventured through Licensure for Marriage and Family Therapy (LMFT). I started my private practice, which is an amazing tale of courage (link to Perfectly Rebecca). As well, I took a solo trip to Bali for 18 days. (Link to Bali Dreams and Look What I Found: stories of Bali.) I have also been to Oregon and Austin since December. So, this Rebecca has been busy, to say the least.
From licensure, to Bali, and every state of the U.S. and of my mind, I have grappled with what is. When writing, we have a tendency to discover answers that otherwise may be lost in the soup of our meshed neural pathways in our skull. Trying to make sense of an experience or feeling, our brains tell us reasons why we feel the way we do.
For example: You feel anxious. Your brain says: “There has GOT to be a reason for this and I am going to tell you why.” Then it berates you with multiple reasons why, (these things that you really weren’t thinking of in the first place) are now firing through your mind increasing your anxiety. From your laundry list to your bullying experience as a child, they all may rise in the midst of this feeling. Maybe your parents are getting older or you didn’t say the “right” thing the night before to your partner. It literally will fire all of this at you at once till you grab on to what it MUST be. Then you deal with it while creating more negative energy around this anxious feeling.
Lovely, Rebecca. What the hell do I do with this then? I tell you Still Playin’ With It PEOPLE! I tell you NOW! You stop. You look on the feeling with curiosity and allow yourself to be present in the feeling while it passes, because it will. Then you call your parents, hug your spouse and go for a run. I know it sounds simple, but guess what? It really can be that simple.
In Winner Winner Chicken Dinner I talked about Newton and the Law of Motion. Like the quote above from Einstein, we must keep moving forward! Not only to stay in motion, but also to KEEP OUR BALANCE! How many times do we talk about balance in our lives? Balancing career and family. Balancing all the different aspects of our selves. I speak a lot to my clients on the integration of our “selves” in therapy. We are fragmented souls. Fragmented in a way that suggests that there is a balance of our pieces. Not fragmented as in BROKEN. Got that?
Your fragments could be from different eras in your life, relationships, experiences, and upbringing. Regardless of your belief in the above theory on fragmentation, our lives can be felt as more balanced when we step into the reintegration of these parts. Take a moment right now. Close your eyes. Imagine, like a beautiful mosaic, your parts coming together to form a tight, gorgeous, perfectly connected masterpiece. That is you: a timeless piece of art. Thank you to those that have trusted me in this process of reintegration in my practice. It has been amazing and a true honor. You know who you are. I love you all.
Today, I will leave you all with this. Recently I took a job as an MFLC: Military Family Life Counselor at Camp Pendleton. I am “embedded” in a battalion. I serve as a therapist and additional support to the marines and sailors of this unit. As you know from reading me, I am a proud supporter of the military. If you haven’t, PLEASE read “Service”! This blog is a true reflection of my thoughts with the dedication of our service members.
I committed in the writing of Service, and to my father, that I would serve back in my career for at least a year. Well, guess what? I am doing it! This is my platform to give back to the thousands of men and women, past and present, that have sacrificed and given their all. Last week I was honored with the opportunity to go on the battalion hump. A measly four mile hike through the green hills of Camp Pendleton.
The CULMINATION of the past 5 years of my life, experiencing what I created. I CREATED by a dream: a.k.a FOLLOWING MY BLISS!
p.s. My heart also BELONGS TO MOMMY! I love you mom. Thank you for your undying support and loving me through this amazing process of reintegration and the discovery of my true self! I wouldn’t be who, or where I am today with out you. I love you, Mom.
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin